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jackkennedy91

Once Upon a Time in the NRL: A Midseason Report

Using movie clips to sum up each teams season.

Rick and Cliff deep into the third game of super saturday, filthy how (name half the comp) aren't playing how they should.

17. Wests Tigers

Cliff: "HEHEHE WOOOO".


Translates to: Brought a finger gun to a gun fight or a knife to a flamethrower fight.


Review: It's not quite working, and any semblance of a plan is hard to spot. The buy-in around young players and them being an exciting team on the up-and-comers like Bula, Galvin, and Utoikamanu. The problem is that two of those are already considering exit plans. There needs to be more leadership as ageing players Klemmer and Sezer are hardly in their peaks, and Api can only do some things as he drives the attack. Benji's recent controversy aside, fundamental questions have to be asked if the direction and ideas he brings to the side are up to first-grade standards (I'm not for sacking at the drop of a hat, but the lack of prior experience is a real detriment to him, especially if you consider Todd Payton could come onto the market if the Cowboys form continues).


Prediction: A wooden spoon as the Rabbits take chances in winnable games, and the Tigers seem to be on the slide.


16. South Sydney Rabbitohs

Rick: "He's not the best anymore in fact far from it".


Translates to: It's better not to think about your situation too much or you might cry.


Review: Things were looking awfully grim; players had fallen out with the coach, and there were rumours of poor standards, and this mainly drew criticism to how Latrell could best be used in the team. Since the removal of Demetriou, Souths have gone back to basics, and it is bringing results or at least winning games they should be winning. They are in a bind for how they will set up next year and how to prepare for that, with Walker and Cook beginning to show a decline, a new English half to come and whether to keep Latrell out the back. I feel that moving Mitchell back into the centres would probably be for the best, as his dipping in and out of games was a bit of a luxury move when they were in a better position, although when you get to go back, there is another problem, perhaps Wighton. The forwards are still an ever-present issue, and Murray's absence is felt. Rumours of De Belin and Pangai coming along with Wayne might help but also beg the question of whether we should bring in more aging options.


Prediction: They could move up a few spots, but the season is a write-off.


15. Gold Coast Titans

Rick: "You're a miserable drunk, you practised your lines and you look like you didn't".


Translates to: They have a lot of talent but can't get their lines together and might lose the plot all together.


Review: They started poorly, showed signs they were beginning to put it together, and reverted to the start with some ordinary displays. Tino was going to be a tough out to overcome, and the drama surrounding Fifita certainly didn't help (Not that big of a plus. He is staying sort of too much a luxury player for the situation they are in). It was not helped by Foran being his age and a terrible start from Boyd. There is reason to believe they could improve, but it is less likely than continuing their run of dismal displays. Weirdly, they need to take a run at some unlikely project players, particularly if they can't pry Ben Hunt. Perhaps Ilias or Douelhi could be targeted.


Prediction: There are too many better sides whose peak may be lower, but they reach it, unlike the Titans, who I see contending for the spoon and finishing second last.


14. Parramatta Eels

Cliff: "You're a little man with a big mouth and a big chip".


Translates to: Despite all the talk it has ended in pain can they recover?


Review: Was this a season of what could have been? Probably not really, but did they deserve better? Maybe. Moses hit the ground running before being out for a large part of the early season, while Gutho's going down impacted the work rate and communication in the backline. RCG and Paulo show some terrible signs of wear and tear, and both are soon to be off contract, with Matterson struggling with concussion symptoms and the rest not quite standing up, leaving the Parra pack at the crossroads for how to build in the future. They have to win every game to make the finals, and their performances put that down as highly unlikely. Blaize Talagi has been a fun player to watch and gives the side another handy back option, with Lomax coming into the fold next year. Hand is the go-to in the hooking role.


Prediction: The occasional handy win with disappointing losses, never sniffing the finals.


13. Newcastle Knights

Rick: "I have to do I-talian movies"


Translates to: I have to consider options that are thought were way below me.


Review: Did the Knights fall apart because they lacked a consistent plan, or was it the injury to star player Kalyn Ponga? It's tough to say, but all the talk in the pre-season was about how AOB had figured out the halves and was sticking to change his idea several times in the season, landing on an option that was not working. They suffer from what a few sides with non-dominant halves suffer from. Having a ball-dominant forward in Elliott and a fullback originally in Ponga takes much of the leadership out of the halves. When it's rolling, it can improve their capabilities, but when sides figure that out (or your crucial fullback goes down), the attack becomes stunted, and the ability to shift the ball and move away from that is not as easy as when it is in the halves hands. Frizell being out was also a big out in their pack, while the Saifitis have not offered enough to go forward. The side needs to be faster and fit to keep up with the best. For these reasons, they struggle to open up and attack when needed or have much impact when they keep it simple. A screaming hot take that could actively improve the side would be to move Ponga on and invest that money in three or four mobile forwards/utilities (who is tough to say), using Sharpe and keeping Armstrong (although now looking unlikely). They pick up more wins than the chance of catching lightning and keeping KP on the field for 27 rounds and missing Young as a guy who could get that side moving, too.


Prediction: A middling season with the potential for the sack of AOB if it gets really bad.  


12. North Queensland Cowboys

Cliff: "Hey I remember you".


Translates to: What seems like a bad trip is actually a horrible sequence of events best to just laugh along and make the best of it.


Review: They are the most challenging team to watch in football. There is so much talent, yet some of the worst performances are given said talent. Defensive structure isn't there for a team with no issue scoring. Townsends diminishing returns at the half have to be questioned as well. Too many flashy forwards that don't do the hard work must be addressed but probably can't be due to cap constraints. If Payten were a Sydney coach, he would be under heavy scrutiny right now as it is a failing of the system rather than one or two off performances. A standout has again been Dearden never gives up in attempting to make tackles and still looks every bit the origin prospect. They do have all of their byes to come, so that will favour them, and while points-wise they are still in the competition, it's hard to ignore their worst performances.

Prediction: More of the same can't see the impact of origin, making them a better, fresher side.


11. Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles

Studio Exec: "So you've been doing guest shots on television?". "And you're losing the fight?". "That's going to have a psychological effect on how the audience sees you". " "Whose going to kick your ass this week".


Translates to: If you consider all their players they should be much better than they are.


Review: The first of the sides that still have a good chance of making the finals and doing something. But it seems less than likely that they will put it together. A tough run with injuries for Olakau'atu takes away from an underperforming pack (or just a pack that is pretty low on options). In addition, Saab and Tom Trbojevics knocks, and the team was light on spark. DCE despite a dominating origin performance is starting to show signs of age or at least having too much to do with too little support. They could offer something late in the season but still need something.


Prediction: A hard-fought season that comes up short of finals football.


10. New Zealand Warriors

Kurt Russell: "What the fuck Cliff?"


Translates to: How did that happen, you promised you'd be good.


Review: A bad start and injuries threatened to end their season early, only for the Warriors to find form with much of their squad out. They have performed admirably by keeping their football simple as they have had little option but to. Before, with their star-studded backs, they had been plagued with sideways football, hoping for it to happen, but now they have stripped that away from their football. They need to consider keeping this mentality in the future. They could be a scary low seed in the finals if they can develop that. Barnett deserved his origin squad call-up, stepping up as a starting forward. Berry has been a squad favourite and a good player, while Walker's continued development as a utility gets him close to an origin jumper.


Prediction: Late form sees them nick a finals spot, probably not much more, but the pieces are there, and it's one last chance before AFB goes and the forwards need a shakeup.


9. St George- Illawarra Dragons

Cliff: "Sit, Wait, I will throw this shit in the trash, I don't wanna but I will".


Translates to: Remain patient and they will be rewarded but go off early and they get nothing.


Review: They are way further ahead than they should be. They get themselves into good positions in winnable matches. The blowouts in more brutal matches can be ignored. Lomax has been on a career tear, even getting that awkward bent-over flick offload he does to pay off once this year. They are a sizeable pack that pays off against the lesser sides, although it is a weakness in big contests. Hunt is doing the simple things right, and Flanagan is doing enough without overplaying his hand. Losing Lomax is going to be tough to bounce back from. How they build from here is going to be interesting. As it is only partially obvious where they will go from here, they have several promising juniors in the younger ranks. Still, with them being some time away, their recruitment has also been scattergun big money for good players and hit and hopes.


Prediction: Ultimately, they miss the finals but have made the club proud with their efforts.


8. Brisbane Broncos

Manson follower: "I forgot my knife (runs and starts car)".


Translates to: Have kind of gone missing when the big action starts.


Review: It's been a rough start, and many of the same questions asked of their far northern mates could be asked of them. The forward stocks are relatively thin, and while Mam progresses, their attack is too often coming off the back of poor starts, leaving them needing to play near-perfect football at the end of games and coming up short. As always with the Broncs it has to be questioned whether this is an attitude and arrogance thing as though it happened for them last season it'll just happen again. If ever there was a game of football that suggested you needed two complete halves to make a performance, their grand final appearance was it.


Prediction: They still make the finals and are still a danger, but once complacency seeps in, it's hard to remove, and I see them falling short of making the final.


7. Canterbury Bankstown Bulldogs

A narrator sums up that it is the end of an era for Rick and Cliff.


Translates to: A dire situation turned out pretty good, all things considered.


Review: Another team is way further along the road than they should be. Crichton has become possessed with his defensive effort, captaining and a handful of tries. At the same time, Treacy has come on in leaps and bounds at fullback. Curran makes for a perfect second-row addition with the consistent Jacob Preston. Wilson is an exciting young talent with speed and offers enough in other aspects of his game. With Xerri fulfilling potential, it might take a lot of work for Addo Carr to get back into the team. Kiraz has also improved upon last season, making meters and being more dependable. It's not enough to win the comp, but the often scoffed-at move to bring in utilities and workers to compensate for the lack of size has proved a deft one. Sexton has been a good short-term option, giving Burton space to operate and take some of the ball off of Mahoney—a player who is decent enough but needs to take some of the edge off of his game. Ennis's efforts could be more subtle, which didn't give away so many penalties or give life to the opposition.


Prediction: If injuries are kind, they will sneak into the finals. If not, they will fall short, but with a valiant effort.

6. Sydney Roosters

Steve McQueen: A long monologue about Sharon Tate and her partner and ex and how he has no shot.


Translates to: Been around a while and knows the layout of the finals, doesn't mean they will win though.


Review: They just aren't as good as they think they are. Don't get me wrong, they have some great pieces, and it is easily the best I have seen Walker play. Crichton is having a brilliant contract year. But it needs to be more consistent, and some off-the-field tactics and behaviour are not ignored like before. Not getting Fifita was a rude shock, but it could turn out well for them. While Manu, Suaalii, JWH, and Keary are moving on again, it could be a silver lining in a shakeup to the side's core. Brandon Smith needs a big second half of the season to help get this team working as it should, but I don't see it. The pack just needs to offer more to keep them pushing forward. Spencer Leniu, fresh off his original performance, may bring the x-factor needed. Young has yet to quite be what they have needed in the backs, either.


Prediction: There are too many pieces up in the air, players past their best, and new ones need to be moreamiliar enth the team to make a big run. I can see them sneaking into the top four, though.


5. Canberra Raiders

Cliff: "Change my fuckin' tire".


Translates to: they thought they'd finally ruined Ricky's plans but he finds a way.


Review: It was probably the biggest shock to still be in the eight at this point, as all signs pointed to a downward trajectory. Strange has all the makings to be an exciting prospect in the future. Few players have more efficient tackling than Smithies. The ageing pack continues to roll forward and has remained reasonably injury-free. They will have to offer better performances against the quality sides and blow out more of the tight wins if they want to progress or risk losing their place.


Prediction: They should keep their top 8 spots but will drop a place or two, which could cost them a strong final showing. How they react to the greater attention in the last few rounds will be necessary.


4. The Dolphins

Sharon Tate: "What if I'm in the movie?....Im in the movie, I'm Sharon Tate".


Translates to: Whats this experience?


Review: It was the biggest shock so far, but then again. They've managed to keep a large portion of their squad on the field despite losing Gilbert and Flegler recently (Hopefully, he will be able to play again in the future). Their backline is so exciting, with Farnsworth and Bostock adding plenty of the already exciting outside back of the thes. Their extremely flattering all-Queensland schedule, bar and away game in NT, will end in the second half of the season, which I see as a massive sticking point for this side.


Prediction: The team is likely to drop off, but just looking at statistics, they should do enough to hold onto a finals spot. However, I can see them being found out late and just missing out. Bennett and the veterans suggest they can hold on, too.


3. Penrith Panthers

Snoopy vs the red baron blares in the backround.

Rick: "ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more".


Translates to: A lot of stuff is going on in the background but they are relaxing and enjoying life.


Review: Cleary's absence hangs large over this side. They are performing perfectly well and still show all the signs of being a contender, but awaiting his round 20 return and how the team adjusts is important to their final run. Turuva and, until recently, May, added a lot of ball carries to Edwards and To'o's impressive tallies. Alamoti and Mclean offer some fresh legs in the backs and offer exciting options in the future. While Cole offers enough with Luai back to his best form when it's needed the most. They are shaping to be fit and firing for the right time of the year.


Prediction: I still have enough about them to make the grand final. Luck on the day and matchup (as it could be pretty random) are all that stop a four-peat.


2. Melbourne Storm

Cliffs probably deceased partner: "What you don't feel like fighting?"


Translates to: They have a long dark history in the finals that some people have forgotten about and probably shouldn't.


Review: They are proving hard to shake and keep getting results. Munster out slows down their charge towards the finals, but Papenhuyzen could make a great difference to the side ( they shouldn't rely on them, though). Coates going up a level has helped the Storm along, while the long-awaited emergence of Faalogo is fun to watch, as when he gets a hold of the ball, a lot is possible. Wishart continues to improve and help the side along. The young forwards bring enough for this squad to compete despite needing to gain what some former Storm sides have had in the prop and second row.


Prediction: Hard to gauge. As long as they keep steady, they will be there or thereabouts.


1. Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks

Rick: "Can we do something about the heat?"


Prop guy: "It's a flamethrower Rick".


Translate: Can we do something about the pressure, It's what happens in the the finals Fitzy.


Review: It's an excellent start to the season that will long be overshadowed by whether they can do it when it matters. The pack has lined up and went up a level. The backs do more than enough when they are on. Their halves are the problem when they enter these massive fixtures. They got blown off the park by a rampant Luai, and the likes of Munster, Keary and Mam will think they can do the same in big games. It's a complex problem to fix as there are only a handful of games when the opportunity to learn by doing is present. Outside of that, their work rate has been top-notch, culminating in Mcinnes getting a rep jumper. Kennedy is having a Gutho-level impact doing all the dirty work out of the back.


Prediction: They have a real good chance of a GF spot and a good chance against most. They are likely to win the minor premiership, but that is a false economy given other sides' key outs.




I chose Once Upon a Time In Hollywood due to a recent re-watch. If you haven't seen it or seen it again recently, it's worth your time. I love how it manages to take a bunch of real aspects from that time, like how television writing worked, stunt men, and spaghetti westerns, and throw in some polarising figures, Polanski and Manson, alongside fictional characters that fit directly into the era (probably better than most of QT's characters) and make the change of history at the end and excellent set piece that doesn't impact the film too much (not too much focus or change in tone). There are a lot of familiar faces throughout, a decent soundtrack and some great comedic moments. This is easily the film most in Tarantino's wheelhouse. Anyhow those are some general thoughts on the season, until next time.




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